I was raised an angel. Not by celestial beings. Nothing as cool as that. And to answer the question that I have been asked countless times in my lifetime, I'm not sure if I'm REALLY an angel. Not even sure what that means. But just once growing up when someone asked, I would have LOVED to spread my wings and say, why yes, I am. And then perhaps smite them depending on the level of smugness they had displayed when addressing me... But alas, my story is not a fantasy.
Truth is, as my mother tells it, my father announced at my birth, "My daughter is going to be an angel." And they put it on my birth certificate. No pressure or anything...
Once I passed the "cute angel" phase of childhood, things got worse in my youth in regards to my name. And by worse I mean full of cliches. And sappiness. Most of which revolved around my name. None of which impressed me. Let me share one particularly horrifying moment that stands out from 8th grade. Boy has huge crush on girl. Boy stands up in front of class to make presentation. Boy announces, "Before we get started, let's listen to some entertaining music." Boy plays 'Earth Angel' in some mating ritual attempt. Girl slides under her desk in embarrassment.
(Note to teenage boys: pick up lines (or romantic songs/poems) with references to angels not original when using them on a girl named angel. She's likely heard them a million times. And chances are she will roll her eyes and sigh. Not swoon. Now, if you call her "my angel" or play one of said cliched songs, and she acts like you are a genius at wooing, then you are golden. Clearly she likes you..)
But back to my story. Or rather, my name's story. So I grew to adulthood debating internally (and sometimes with friends) whether or not to change this name that didn't seem to fit. But I never really felt like any other name fit either. And to be honest, all the effort that would have been required to actually follow through and change it, well, I couldn't be bothered. And so here I am, over 40, and still Angel.
I've now decided to stop fighting and just lean into it. Hence the decision to name my blog in honor of my name. And maybe this was my destiny all along. Maybe this is where I am meant to bring my random messages to the world... (written October 22, 2012)